Mental Health Awareness and Legalization; The Key to Escape Reality.

By Spencer Corish

(guest contributor)

With the legalization of marijuana coming into effect this week, now is an incredibly important time to address the impact this cultural shift may have on the mental health of Canadians. The view of marijuana as a wonder drug or a “cure-all” for life’s ailments presents a complex issue when applied to the spectrum of mental illness. Legality is coming on Wednesday with or without a proper call for citizens to fully understand the risks and realities of cannabis use. In this article, I address the issue of escaping reality and self-medicating in an effort to shed some much-needed light on an issue that affects 1 in 5 Canadians.

The article is not a hit-piece on legalization, far from it. In fact, there are few things that I have ever supported more ardently. Rather it is a cautionary tale about believing too much in the hype surrounding anything, and a reminder to Canadians everywhere to keep their collective stick on the ice. 

With World Mental Health Awareness Day having just passed I was moved to write an article on the importance of responsible use in individuals with mental health issues. I myself have lived with Bipolar Disorder since I was a teen and spent a good deal of my adult life self-medicating with marijuana to escape reality, rather than properly managing my illness. I was, and remain an advocate for the legalization of cannabis, but have changed the course of my treatment to a much more responsible one and in turn, changed my life. I am compelled to relate my own battle with mental illness and substance abuse to legalization in the hopes of keeping others from falling into the same trap. I believed the hype, and I very nearly paid the price.

            With Marijuana legalization looming just days away a long-held dream of mine will soon be fulfilled: to be able to walk into a doubtlessly legal store, make an informed product choice, and come out with exactly what weed I went in looking for. No dodgy meet ups, no awkward smokey apartment visits pretending to care how great at Playstation a stranger has become. Just freedom. You will no longer be a criminal for buying weed. If you see me the night of October 17th with an illegal smile, it’ll probably cost more than you expect, but it will certainly no longer be illegal.

            The words of the American songwriter John Prine are in my mind more often than usual these past few days as I am left considering the gravity of what our country is about to undergo. In his 1971 stoner anthem “Illegal Smile” Prine contrasts the taxing nature of the human condition with the phrase,  “Fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.” 

            Next week’s legalization will indeed be welcomed with open arms and looks to bring this country together in a long-awaited celebration that will be fascinating, to say the least. Faced with the prospect of a nation diving into legalization head first, Prine’s words serve as an even more poignant reminder that escaping reality is not always something to be taken lightly.

            Don’t get me wrong, this article is not a hit-piece on legalization, far from it. In fact, there are few things that I have ever supported more ardently. Rather it is a cautionary tale about believing too much in the hype surrounding anything, and a reminder to Canadians everywhere to keep their collective stick on the ice.

            There have been many articles written over the past months both hailing the benefits of legalization and conversely warning the dangers of bringing another conscious-altering substance into the spectrum of daily life. While personally I have long been a believer, and in fact a crusader for the full legalization of marijuana, I am left with concern regarding weed’s growing reputation in the world as a “cure-all”. A wonder medicine, that given the right strain and the right CBD percentage will turn you into the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

            This attitude has come along with the prohibition of many substances throughout our history as a way for people to get around the law. The claims of medicinal whiskies in prohibition-era America, hastily prescribed by fly-by-night Doctors, Priests, and Rabbis who had never seen the inside of a hospital or house of worship. The nostrum tonics and elixirs sold by the traveling patent medicine salesman of old, brimming with high potency alcohol, guaranteed to cure what ails you. The restorative wonder drugs of the late Nineteenth Century, medicinal cocaine and opiates such as laudanum, prescribed to cure headaches and foul moods.

            Today, looking back on these examples may seem ridiculous to many, and an ill-suited comparison to medical marijuana, which indeed can vastly improve the quality of life for many people suffering from painful, chronic, and terminal conditions.  However, the grey area comes in the form of marijuana being prescribed and recommended for the treatment of mental health issues.

     In the same way that giving someone cocaine for a toothache now seems not only ill-advised but in fact ludicrous, will we one day go on to find ourselves looking back at the idea of curing anxiety by telling people to smoke a joint with a similar sense of absurdity?

            My own personal journey with weed started when I was nineteen, not as a method of socializing or being cool, but rather as a way of coping with personal demons. A struggle with severe anxiety, bouts of depression, and strange behavioural outbursts that never existed before, later diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder. To deal with this, I began to use weed to self-medicate a mental health issue I did not know how to properly handle.

            Over the next two years, my mental health condition would worsen and begin to take a serious toll on my life. By this point the use of marijuana to regulate the symptoms had become just as problematic as it was helpful. Although it relieved anxiety in the short term, in the long run, it was making things worse. The ups and downs were becoming steeper and lower, more and more dangerous every day.

            Around this time, the claims that medical marijuana was not only useful for those with painful, chronic illnesses but in fact for the treatment of mental health issues would come to the forefront. I recall going to my doctor and trying to obtain a prescription for cannabis to manage my moods and anxiety. Her response that marijuana could actually make Bipolar worse seemed so utterly ridiculous it infuriated me. I set out to prove her wrong, and stopped taking the assortment of pills prescribed to me, devoting myself to becoming completely reliant on weed to manage what I now know to be a very serious mental health issue.

            This is where the problematic nature of escaping one’s reality comes into the equation. Yes, marijuana can be fantastic at allowing you to slip away from the stress and worry of everyday life, but when a person is living with a mental health issue that clouds their connection to reality already, it can be a very dangerous combination to attempt to further escape things.

            For a lot of people, escaping reality can be a very tempting idea. Certainly for those of us living with mental illness, stepping out of that suit of pain for a few fleeting moments and being untouched by the sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach is incredibly appealing. But when all that pain melts away its only a matter of time before it comes rushing back twice as hard. When you ignore the reality of your mental illness it may feel wonderful in the moment, but in the long run, you are making things worse. In not addressing the actuality of the situation you lose the ability to contemplate the changes needed, and the ability to manage your feelings effectively. Without these tools, the path to recovery becomes all the more difficult.

            I lived a hazy brained, semi-connected life for five years without properly paying attention to the reality that was my progressively worsening mental health. I couldn’t keep a job, I couldn’t maintain a relationship, I couldn’t maintain friendships. I could barely maintain me. Yet I was able to ignore all of this, as I could numb myself so effectively through the use of cannabis that everything felt ok. When those around me started to tell me that things were getting worse, I withdrew, I fought them and ran away rather than fighting for control of my own mind.

            I knew that I wasn’t getting better, but I was able to make myself feel ok through the misuse of marijuana. When I would have a particularly bad day, I would smoke more, which would then make the next day worse, and the next. With this veil of ignorance clouding my mind I fell deeper and deeper into the perils of Bipolar. My mood swings became more violent than ever before, the manic episodes destroying what I would work so hard to stabilize the rest of the time. When the reality of the destructive cost of the manic episodes would hit I would fall into crippling depressive swings, with panic attacks becoming a near daily ritual. I combatted the pain of this by numbing myself as aggressively as possible. By escaping reality in any way that I could, and the most effective way I knew how was by using weed. Which, in my mind, was my medication. I didn’t need Lithium or Seroquel, because I had marijuana, my miracle drug.

            Then one day I realized I had spent so much time so aggressively escaping life that I no longer knew what was real anymore. I had two options, go and seek the help I truly needed, or die. Whether physically or not, this is the decision I and so many others who self-medicate mental illness with marijuana, alcohol, and other illicit drugs face at some point. Do I stand up and take my life back, or give in and become nothing.

            It has been just over one year since I made the choice to get proper treatment for my mental health issues. Through an active course of talk therapy, properly monitored medication, yoga, and meditation, I have been able to turn my life around. Yes, I still smoke weed, and yes I am thoroughly looking forward to the 17th of October and to the wonderful world of legalization. But I now know cannabis as a conscious-altering substance like many others, not without risk, yet in moderation it can have wonderful effects on a person.

            I no longer see marijuana as my medicine.

            I write this article for a simple reason: 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental health issue in any given year. For some, this will be a period of depression or anxiety in some way related to an event or crisis within life. For others, it is a chronic disorder that has and will continue to have an effect on life for years to come. Whatever the case, it is not a death sentence. Although it can be the easy answer to turn to substance abuse to numb the pain or hide from the reality of mental illness, know that it will not miraculously fix all of life’s problems. However, you can by making small steps towards taking responsibility for your own well being, and actively participate in your course of healing. Always remember, it gets better.

            Now that marijuana is days away from being legal this message is more important than ever. We must remain mindful of the fact that cannabis is not the answer to life’s problems, as much as it can feel like one. It is a fascinating substance that we are only just beginning to unlock the secrets of, providing an exceptional method to increase your enjoyment of life, and manage pain and stress.  However, we can never forget that it is still an addictive substance, one that requires responsible use, and one that can affect everyone differently.

            Cannabis is no cure-all, it is not a wonder medicine, it is not some Panacea that once taken turns everything in life to bliss. No medication, no drug is. Only you can make yourself into the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

            Before you toke up on October 17th, think first about why you’re using marijuana. Use it responsibly, and most of all when you decide its time to escape reality, don’t forget to come back. Take my word for it, its a lot more fun that way.